Would you please give me some suggestions? Thank you very much!:)
Topic: Money can bring happiness, do you agree or disagree? ( within 300 words, at least 250 words; IELTS for GENERAL TRAINING)
As the most significant
symptomsign of wealth, possessing a large sum of money has become a unique pursuit of many people, especially the younger generation, around the world.
In what sense is it unique if everyone around the world is doing it?
They are convinced
of that happiness can be bought by sufficient money. However, they could neglect the fact that happiness is not just determined by one factor but many others such as your friends, relatives, and pleasant experiences. InFrom my perspective, happiness does not always increase in direct ratio [proportion] to the rise [amount] of money.
Focusing on the illusion that money brings happiness may have an unexpected adverse effect that may lead to a misallocation of time. For instance, when someone reflects on how money would change their sense of well-being, they would probably be tempted to think about spending more time in leisurely pursuits such as seeing a three-dimensional movie or traveling abroad. But in reality, they would have to spend a large amount of time working and commuting and less time engaged in experienced happiness.
On the other hand, it is undeniable that money has a brief effect on life satisfaction, particularly after we have got enough money to satisfy our fundamental needs. For example, people who get richer
would feel they are better than their peers. Nevertheless, they will soon make richer friends. Therefore, their relative wealth will not beis not greater than it was before; people quickly get used to all new stuff their money can buy and the amount of money people say they need rises along with their income. Consequently, the endless and vicious cycle in terms of physically and psychologically stress begins again.
Your example here should be completely in the present tense. You are describing an unchanging law of human nature. You don't need to say that things would happen or will happen. Just say they do happen.
You can use the future tense (or other tenses, or conditional) as long as it is all consistent. For example, you can say to your friend: You are going to make more money, but then your friends will also have more money ... etc.
In conclusion, I believe that money does not always buy happiness, but it is not indicated that money cannot bring
I'm not sure what the second clause means here. But it seems you are equivocating on what you really believe.
It is of great importance to deal with money more carefully and appropriately. Instead of lavishing money in an ostentatious way, we should be aware
of that it is romance, friendships, good health, and family that truly bring us happiness.
Scientific evidence has shown us that in fact, money DOES buy happiness, but only to a certain point.
A famous Princeton study (linked below) found that emotional wellbeing increases steadily with income, up to around $75,000 per year. After that point, income does not have much of an effect on emotional wellbeing.
Research has previously shown that low income families are more likely to divorce than higher income families (see NCFR link), and that lower income couples were more likely to have their relationship negatively influenced by money problems. Together, these facts suggest that conflict within low income families can often relate to money problems, leading to unhappiness and divorce at higher rates than high income families.
The Princeton study has found that low income families also experience more emotional distress from unfortunate life events (which include poor health and loneliness as well as divorce) than do higher income families.
With that said, it seems clear that $75,000 for a family isn't really all that much money. Two parents earning just over $37,000 per year will earn that much (which works out to around $18 per hour per parent working 40 hours per week). Clearly, though, a single parent earning that salary will earn far below the 'happiness threshold', and will suffer from many of the financial troubles experienced by low income families.
Essentially, I think the data shows us that money can buy happiness if you are in poverty or struggling with money. In this case, the money will eliminate several sources of unhappiness, such as stress and marital conflict over finances. But once you have a comfortable family income: enough to pay for all your fixed expenses (such as rent/mortgage, bills, and groceries) and maybe a few luxuries (movie tickets), money doesn't really have much of an impact on happiness.